Hibiscus.

Bubble
Delusion
Fantasy
Figment of imagination
Your arms around me
Head trip
Invention
Make-believe
Mirage
Being my girlfriend
Myth
Pipe dream
Trip
Virtual reality
A life together

Dear friend,

Not once did you acknowledge, validate, recognize my pain
Not once did you say sorry I didn’t mean to worry you
Not once did you embrace my feelings
You just stumped over my toes, and asked me if I were ok.
Look at my toes not at my face, I’ve just been hurt. My toes hurt. The obvious.
Please just say: I am sorry. I didn’t mean to. Can we talk about this?
Don’t ask me if I am ok as if I were this crazy chick who had no right to feel and worry.

I am sorry that I panicked. Habits are second nature. We have created this intense communication line for 30 days now. I couldn’t understand the silence which you have the right to. But just say it. I am going to be busy, I am having a good day, or a bad day…just say that you’re going to be out of reach. Just say it. Don’t just ignore me.

Ignored.

It hurts.

she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend she is not my girlfriend

a large aluminum bucket
silky, glossy,
paired with two solid arms
filled with clear transparent water

untouched, unshaken for one year and one day
sitting alone in an unnamed field

approaches a floating colored droplet
suspended from the end of a tube
unwilling to fall down

a woman whispers,
her tender voice
vibrates through the air
unloading the tube content
into the bucket
slowly, smoothly dripping

the water shivers
unaware at first
of its altered molecules
expanding to absorb
blue pink fuchsia

the painted water
now aroused
babbling with the bush nearby
ready to jump

On a Sunday, at Vespers,
I heard an alien noise at my front porch.
I unlocked the door and left it ajar,
A being of blue was slowly floating by,
Blue eyes,
A blue sweater
And hands of blue velvet.
I paused a moment hoping to capture that butterfly.
The cold winter breeze strongly stroke my cheek
Muttered a name clashing with mine.
I closed the door shut,
Grateful for having seen such a beauty
But so happy to return to my warm bed.

Mon amour Ma chérie,

Peut être que cette lettre te parviendra, peut être pas. Qui sait où les vagues l’emporteront?

Mais je veux dire tout haut ce que ces mois de séparation m’ont apporté. Je veux cesser de parler et simplement m’excuser pour tout le mal que je t’ai causée, pour n’avoir rien compris, pour avoir été si collante, si accusatrice et si maladroite.

Je m’étais renfermée dans mes anciennes blessures et je n’ai pas pu voir le jour nouveau se lever. J’ai crié pour que tu me sauves mais je me noyais dans un passé de démons et de loup-garous. J’appelais au secours mais je devais d’abord me guérir.

Je suis désolée. Tout simplement désolée.

In my dream
Day dream
Wonderful day
I see you

Head bent down
Reading
Short hair twisted
Hypnotizing
Dark skin
Jamaican flavor

In my dream
Riding my bike
Waiting for the light to turn green
To hold your hands and kiss you
Captivated by your smile
Holding my breath

Tremulous flutter
Quivering spasm
In my dream you reside
And make camp